Minority

A Minority is what I am living in Indonesia. When I go for a walk, go to town, go anywhere, I'm always, and I mean ALWAYS being watched, pointed at, and I know (I'm not just paronoid) but talked about. At first I just smiled said, hullo. Then I just hid behind my kids. (so to speak, Having them say hi.)
Now, I'm just getting annoyed. Is it right? No! But it's true. I want to yell, "Leave me alone!!"
Yet I know, that this will continue to happen the entire time I live in Indonesia.
But it makes me wonder. Did I do this while living in America? Did I stare at people who were different, making them uncomfortable? I truly hope not.
So next time you are out and see somebody different, instead of just looking at them, say something to them. Try and Brighten their day.

Emotions and feelings upon Arrival!

Hello everybody,
Sure has been awhile. Hoping now that we are a little more settled in here in Indonesia that I can blog a little more.
I want to share with you a journal entry so you have an idea of what I've been going through. Thanks for reading.

Friday, July 31, 2009 We arrived on Wednesday afternoon. I was in a fog. I wanted to take as much in and remember as much as I can. I just remember driving through the city of Jakarta thinking I should be trying to take everything in..yet fighting just to keep myself awake so I could start making the time change. Got a good night of sleep and was ready for the next day. Went for a small walk on Thursday around the neighborhood. It is so different. Driving on the opposite side of the road than I am use to...motorcycles everywhere. Feel like you are going to be clipped by one driving by you, but yet for here it is so normal. Just hung out and talked to Amberlynne and Sheila...didn’t do much else. (Two of the ladies who arrived the same time we did!) Woke up bright and early this morning to the sound of the Call to prayer for the Muslims. Kinda funny how the dogs howled along with it. Yet so weird to think that so many are living in darkness. Feel like I was hit with a tidal wave of emotions today. Just tired of everything being so different. Not really sure what is bothering me. Not sure if all my emotions and goodbyes are starting to catch up....along with not being one place very long in the past 3 months. Scared of what my house will be like. I don’t want to have too high of expectations and be disappointed, but yet hoping it will be nice. How do I pin point what exactly is bothering me. I can’t stop crying. I’m so happy to finally be here, yet have so many mixed emotions.I have to remind myself this is normal...I’m not the only one to have gone through this, is going through this, or has gone through this. God I need you more than ever right now. You are my rock, and my strength. I miss my family, friends, and my "normal" everyday. It’s okay to have things different. It will just take time to adjust. Lord, there is a reason we are here. For your glory. The funny thing is, I have no desire to back to the states right now...I don’t hate it here. I just think everything is catching up to me. I never to much time to stop and work through all the see you laters and goodbyes I said to friends and family. I think I’ll like it here. I’m so excited that this is where we are. Just have a lot of adjusting to do. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and goodness. This is all for your glory not mine. Be glorified!!!!! I feel so awful for taking Lincoln away from his cousin Landon. They are such good buddies and miss each other so much. Be glorified in all I do. I know home is wherever we are. I feel so bad getting mad a Jim for the smallest things this morning...gotta love being an over emotional female.

Emotional Rollercoaster

I can't believe the time has come for us to finally leave for the mission field!! It has seem like a dream for so long and it is finally here!!!!! I have so many mixed emotions...So excited about this adventure, yet having a really hard time taking my kids away from their cousins, grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles...yet I know they will gain so many more.

To my wonderful sister Jodi. I love you very much. I'm so thankful for our friendship that started blossoming when we moved to NC!! LOL!! And then continued to do so as our families settled in Michigan!! Watching our boys be the best of buds and being so excited to see each other has been a blessing. I will miss you soooo much. Thanks for being my sister, friend, a good listener, and for giving me great advice when I ask for it.

To my wonderful parents who have supported us in this adventure from the beginning. I love you very much and I'm so glad you are closer to Jodi now. Thanks for all the hard work you put into me growing up...and for your love, advice, and care. I thank the Lord for using you in my life to help direct me to missions. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life.

To my sister Tina and her family. I'm so excited we are coming your way!! Looking forward to the time we'll eventually get to spend together!!! Can't wait to be able to text you!!!! lol!

To the moms in moms2mom...
Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts, and concerns... I will greatly miss our Thursday mornings together. It was such a great time of encouragement and reflection for me. I loved leaving knowing I'm a "normal" mom! Love you all!

To my Best friend Jenn...
Thanks for being willing to just hang out and chat on the phone. I love how we just connected and that our friendship has blossomed and how we spur each other on in our faith. Thanks for always being honest. I really like that about you. I love how caring you are and so willing help others out. Love ya girl.

All for now as I must get some sleep before our LONG adventure begins soon.. I'll try and keep you updated more often.

(I wanted to load more pictures, but they are on the other picture! Sorry!!)

Emotions

The emotions that I'm going through lately are Insane! With trying to pack our house and get ready for Indo (even though we don't leave till July) and Arizona. I want to just cry. Such an overwhelming feeling. How do people do this? I is SO hard. I don't even think the hardest part is "getting stuff done." It's that fact that we are leaving people we love and have great friendships with. I'm really going to miss everybody. I'm going to miss hearing my heart language and know what people are saying when I'm out in public, I'm gonna miss being in my comfort zone. I know God is streching me. But nobody ever said it would be easy. So today, I cry, I keep packing, I cry somemore and work through it all. The best part about this day! I get to go take my kids are Arika's last day of school picnic. I think I need the time with them.
Sorry If I've totally bored you, or it just sounds like I'm so down lately. Just sharing what's on my heart. So thanks for listening.

Tough...

So many times growing up I moved and I hated it, but yet now as I look back on all the moves, it's made me who I am. It was tough, And at the age of 26, it's still tough.
Now as a mom, I think it's tougher to make my kids move. This is the second move that my daughter really knows what is going on, and this time...we are or have gotten rid of a ton and I mean a ton of stuff. It's really hard to see her so upset over stuff. We are trying to take along the things that make it home, but have such limited space.
We've had a moving sale the last three days. We have the cutest little princess bike with training wheels, that we bought for her when she was two. She LOVES to ride her bike, She is just starting to get the hang of how to slow down and use her breaks.
Today, I watched my 4 year old have a very grown up moment when we sold her bicycle. She didn't even cry. (she misses it and is sad, but is okay with it, "cause we can get another one in Indonesia.) But I did. Even as I write this I have tears in my eyes. Watching something my kid loves so much walk away.
I know this decision to go to Indonesia is what God has for us without a doubt. But watching how it effects my kids is hard. I think one of my biggest things is not wanting my kid to hate me or God because of us selling a lot of our stuff and moving to Indonesia. I pray that God will give me the wisdom on how to be a loving mother during this time, and to be able to explain in a simple way why it is so important for us to go!
We've been asked why we are getting rid of so much stuff? Why don't you just store it? Well, one is limited storage space, and two, most of it deteriorates over time. Thirdly, I can't take it to heaven with me! I'd rather sell my stuff here, go to Indonesia, and have more brothers and sisters in Christ in eternity worship God around HIS throne. I do this for God's glory not mine.
Is it tough, YES! But I wouldn't have it any other way.....

A glimpse!

So the craziness has begun! We've applied for our Visa's!  In just over two weeks. We leave for our trip to Arizona! We are just starting to pack! Starting to wonder if it's possible to fit everything in? Packing, purging our junk, yard sale, Arika's end of preschool homework, etc. But then I remind myself. I'm not the first missionary to do this! I'm just totally crazy to do it again (meaning packing up my house and packing for a long trip! It's not all going to the same place!) My mind is going faster than I can keep up. So many things to do and get! Just a few items going through my mind to get, sunscreen, sinus meds, clothes for me and Jim, shoes, etc.  Plus tons of people to try and contact to catch up with while in Arizona. 

Just trying to give you a small glimpse of what's going on! So hopefully this all makes since!

Not sure when I'll get back to write. So first I have to share with you a quick story. This last weekend we made a quick trip to Canada to see some friends we were in the training with. Our friend took all three kids for a walk, Arika (4), Lincoln(17 mon), and their son (18 mon).  They were walking by the pond on campus and they were only gone for about 5 minutes when they come back with Lincoln soaking wet! Yup, he feel right in! It was to comical! I threw him in a tub of warm water! He wasn't up set or anything. I think more just stunned! Hahahaha! Oh the memories! Thanks Claussen!

Till next time!

Around, Around and Around

The last couple of weeks have felt totally crazy. Between packing up my parents and moving all their stuff to a storage unit in 2 1/2 days, Arika's birthday, Easter, and trying to get ready for Indonesia. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I finish my day and I feel like I've gotten NOTHING done. Is that possible? My mind goes in all different directions, (course that's normal for me, huh?)
As I sit here writing this, I have 3 loads of laundry that need to be folded, about 3 more that need to be washed and folded, The bathrooms are screaming to be cleaned, (I keep trying to block them out.) I have a card table full of pictures and tub more full to go through. (to organize) Those are just the ones that need to be done now. How is there possibly enough time in my day?
Am I the only one out there that feels like this? I know I should just one thing at a time, and not get overwhelmed, but, I'm getting really frustrated!! I wrote this partly to let you know why you haven't heard the rest of the bear story, and because I need encouragement, But yet as I sit here thinking about it. I've been relying on myself, not God to give me strength. Philippians 4 :13 I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. I am nothing without Him.